I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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