Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
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I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
All I want is dick and wine.
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