i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just puked most of my soul out..
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