How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize