Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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