I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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