is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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