How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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