can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
