Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
