so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize