My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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