My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
