Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
