PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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