arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
