Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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