wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
