My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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