the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize