I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
