rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
