i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
