i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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