I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
