I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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