I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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