sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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