Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
