she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Found your dick twin last night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
