Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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