What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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