it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
