somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
