as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
