She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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