she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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