"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
