He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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