eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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