how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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