You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
