Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
