Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
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I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
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I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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