I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
