Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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