If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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