exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
