from now on my penis is your penis
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
