i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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