The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
