Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He shit in the fireplace
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