you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
