How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
