I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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