So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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