My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
