Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
