Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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