it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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