Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
