Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
