we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
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In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
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I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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