and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
