chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
