he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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